Tuesday, March 3, 2009

Taking the road to becoming Buddhist

It was a (for me) strange combination of events that led me to Buddhism. For most of my life (after high school), I was I guess one could say wavering between agnostic & atheist. This comes mostly I believe, that I was forced to go a evangelical Protestant church until I graduated from high school, when I was given the option of going or not. I chose not, since about 75% of the people who went to this particular church are what I would describe as "Sunday Christians". Not to say they were bad people, but their religious practice stopped the moment the left the church parking lot. So, I kind of went along my own way, being rather the hedonist,and blowing up my 1st marriage in the process.
The a few years ago, I started noticing Buddhism. At first it was watching a documentary on the Dalai Lama on the History Channel. Then in my1st year of Nursing I noticed a classmate reading "Making The Mind an Ally", By Sakyong Mipham Rinpoche. I asked the girl what she thought of the book, and she told me that it was about meditation, but she found meditation to be incredibly boring. Then a month or so later, I saw an article in one of the Student nurse journals regarding relaxation techniques. Meditation was prominently featured, and I read it with great interest. So, I started to try my hand at meditation. I found it difficult, but having read about the potential benefits (better focus, less nervousness) I committed myself to work at it. I also bought myself a copy of the Sakyong's book, and voraciously read it. This began my path to the teaching of the Buddha. I read everything I could get my hands on regarding Buddhism, and decided to begin a practice at home, which I continue to this day. Now, I know that I really should be visiting a meditation center and become part of the Sangha (followers of the teachings of the Buddha), and I intend to do that, but only as I feel comfortable with the idea. I still read & view all that I can find on the Dharma (Teachings) and I meditate everyday for at least 10-15 minutes, but mostly I do about 30 minutes/day.I am also a member of the Foundation for the Preservation of the Mahayana Tradition, which I give to regularly. I don't know that all Buddhists would consider me much of a follower, but I'm still working on it.
An interesting insight was afforded to me recently when I mentioned to my mother that I considered myself to be Buddhist. Mom is pretty much an agnostic, but seemed interested in what Buddhism was about, and I explained (not very well) what I knew of it. Sometime later, she had mentioned my conversion to my brother who apparently thought it was humorous. Now, my brother had himself converted to Roman Catholicism some years earlier when he married his wife, something that only recently I found that my late father quietly but immensely disapproved of. My father, raised as a Baptist, had issues with Catholicism (the reasons for which I never did learn) but kept his disapproval a secret to all but Mom. Anyway, Mom told my brother of this fact and also told him that he might consider allowing me to practice my own religion in my own way, just as Dad had done for him. Very Buddhist, in her own way.
Combining My religious practice and nursing also seems a perfect fit. Buddhists aim to end suffering and Nurses do the same, except in a different manner. So, I believe for the 1st time in my life my being and my life are in synchronization.

Namaste'

Introduction

I suppose that since I just started this blog and I've been a Nursing student longer, I should write an overview of what's happened so far...

I started this journey (nursing) in the Fall of 2005 strangely enough with the intent of becoming a Rad Tech. Unfortunately, the college neglected to tell me until the fall of 2006 that they only accept 7 students into the program a year. Needless to say, I didn't make the cut since there were over 40 people trying to do the same. So, I switched my major to Nursing and started in Fall 2007. My first year went well, passing both Nursing I & II within 2% of a B. Summer went OK, but Fall 08 was not what I wanted. To be quite honest, this was at least mostly my fault. I did not put the sort of effort into Maternity lecture, my test taking strategy was wrong, and I wasn't aware that a case study I was responsible for meant that I was also responsible for being the instructor, which I feel I was not prepared to do nor do I feel that I was qualified to do. Consequently, I failed Maternity by 4%. Critical care started poorly, but I picked it up, and managed a strong C. Pediatrics was a whole other situation. The clinical end of it was in my opinion, nearly a waste of time. We were NOT permitted to do anything aside from bathe & feed the babies, and though I tried to learn as much as I could, it was a little frustrating. Lecture was worse. The teacher did not seem interested in her task, and she seemed to not care for any sort of questioning. I studied harder for this rotation than any other, and ended up failing the semester by.2%. That's 2/10 of 1%. So, (space depending) I'll be back to re-take the semester in this fall ('09), with at least the advantage of having done it once already and a knowledge of what I did wrong. That, and with a renewed sense of purpose.

Namaste'